High Random Thoughts

Wassup World as i sit here riddin high wit a quarter ounce of green in my big bruh/bestfriend's mamma car many thoughts run thru my head pardon if i sound as if im ramblin but sometimes i wonder how i will i leave dis earth by my "friends" enemies or my demons deep inside my insecurities does my gurl really love me will things start 2 look better in the future im only 19 but i got an old soul responsibilities pillin up dreams gettin outta focus future lookin gloomy i can sometimes picture myself sprillin down i sometimes feel as if i can work more grind harder do extra there's always room 4 improvement i really need 2 improve fine tune perfect learn nd get better on i gotta make some sacrifices 2 get it but hard work begits sucess right im high so i dont really kno ya feel me we windin goin down all dese roads suprised im not car sick right lol but anyways man i wonder bout wat i want my carrear (cant spell i kno) 2 b in da future i've come 2 realize i hate feelin as if i haveless power or feel as if my power or position (once i get a secure position) is bein threatened nd wit me bein high alot i have a higher since of paronoia u could say nd wit that bein added to it my thoughts get more fucked up ya feel me but then i also read the 48 laws of power nd i learned nd memorized things in dat book nd the art of seduction which thought me so much matured nd smartened me nd wit that being said i tend 2 study people 2 learn nd watch so im not losin my position or power the more i learned studying people i learned alot about us nd how we think dats a carrear choice i had in mind was 2 b a psychologist its fun learning about people how they think nd y they do this that nd the other nd i learned alot of things steam nd come 4rm childhood like me 4 example i grew up wit barley close to no friends so i used 2 write stories of a place i could escape wit friends nd all as i grew older i turned 2 writing poetry it was a better way 2 vent nd it was always a fun challenge 2 get it 2 rhyme dats da reason behind wanting my second carrer option 2 b a poet but 4rm poetry birthed my 4th carrer option 2 b a rapper my love of music is deep the stuff they spit is like poetry u can say nd wat they spit tells stories nd hits hard along wit da beat whichs builds the poets words nd compliments them along wit settin the mood, tellin a story in its self sometimes it takes poetry 2 another level i jus cant figure out which one im destine 2 b music seems 2 b it the way everythings been fallin into place but they say if u seek then u shall find nd dats wat i've been seekin but in my spare time i learn nd study power the mind nd other matters in psychology i always wonder nd visualize my future "could happen" mishaps which discourages me cause i wanna make things perfect fullthrough i guess nd i 4got 2 mention journalism is another thought but how will i afford school again get in school again especially wit a baby not helpin anythings is my mother's bitchin nd complainin nd she was on the phone nd heard me ventin 2 my babymamma nd told me she was done wit me i cant sweat everything so i gotta brush this off right now i have 2 get a better job nd stack money i'm recordin my first mixtapes right now nd plottin nd deciding wen 2 put them out im tryin 2 make my intro right i wrote this in every style i could feel comfortable writing in now the delivery is wats fuckin up ima perfectionist (wen it calls 4 me 2 b) so i've been finishin verses after 90 some odd takes nd now im tryin 2 figure should i double nd about my adlibs its a fustratin process but rewarding wen u get 2 hear the finished track how u wanted it 2 da T its like bustin a nut lol not quite but u get da picture then i gotta release them at da right time so i get full notice im nervous 2 hear da feed back doe feeling like Lupe Fiasco's first verse in Fighters off The Cool u kno itim gettin past it doe
Cool?
Joe Cool